BLOG No. TWENTY SEVEN

Hello, and welcome back to my blog on anxiety and depression. Today I want to discuss anxiety and depression from the perspective of the patient’s, family, and friends. This was an excellent suggestion by one of my readers. And I will do my best to address it.

Being a family member or friend of someone who suffers from anxiety and depression can be challenging. And the greater the suffering of a patient with anxiety and depression, the greater the strain on those that are close to that patient. No one asks for the gene for anxiety and depression, just as no one asks be born into a family with diabetes or breast cancer. And sometimes, well-meaning friends and family of those affected, try and counsel their loved ones.

“There’s really nothing to be anxious or depressed about, so why don’t you just chill?”

But as I’ve stated previously, you don’t need something to be anxious or depressed about to have anxiety and depression. And it is hard for friends and family to understand that. Those close to people suffering from anxiety and depression need to comprehend that it usually isn’t personal—and, it can’t be fixed by them.

So what are friends and family to do? Most of us, especially men, tend to be fixers. But most of our friends suffering from anxiety and depression don’t want us to fix them. It’s just not that easy. This is not as simple as giving a friend a jump when their battery is dead. This is a BIG battery—it's the brain.

John Paul Sartre stated (paraphrased) “Depression and anxiety can hit you blindly on entering a phone booth”. (Phone booth, you know… Superman? Before cell phones? No?) His point was that anxiety and depression can sneak up on a person without provocation or cause.

Friends and family need to understand that and just give support, not give counsel.

Patients with anxiety and depression are frequently confused, despite their IQ. Their brain is interpreting the world in a way that brings on “fight or flight” mode or sends them into the pits of Hell, for no reason. As friends and family, we just need to be there to support them through this process. And remember what Mother Teresa said, “If we spend our time judging people, we will not have time to love them.”

So, if you are a loved one of someone with anxiety and depression, just chill as best you can and love as best you can. Encourage your love one to see a licensed mental health professional and perhaps steer them to these blogs.

But whatever you do, try not to make light of a person’s anxiety and depression, even if you don’t understand.

For those of you in the throws of depression and anxiety, always have hope. Continue to read and reread these blogs and perhaps share them with your family doctor.

And if you can’t find help, don’t hesitate to drop me a line. That's why I'm here.

John Paul Sartre also said “Life begins on the other side of despair”.

So, friends of those with anxiety and depression, show empathy, educate yourself, be kind and patient, and try to help reduce the stress of your loved one. Remember, environment magnifies genetics, so try to improve the environment of those suffering with anxiety and depression. And always try to keep open the lines of communication.

Okay, I am in need of a decent sized dose of Chardonnay. And I am in larger need of something that does not include social distancing! Until next time this is Dr. G saying, keep the faith!